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13-Nov-2017 19:23

The bloke says, "Listen, love, can you make your bloody mind up, I should've got off four stops ago! The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. "Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat. You guessed it - her share of the lotto winnings...His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one? " ORSM VIDEO One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring. That night, the wife asks her husband to run her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed. "Well," he replies, "We don't want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we?? NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!Lets just get our fingers out of our arses thinking that we humans are the centre of the universe. The IT industry must be back in the boom times if this entry is any indicator.Thought you might like this traditional South African sick note, only submitted today as you will see, so it is fresh. I wonder if it's his Mum's car that he borrowed hoping she wouldn't notice? I have already warned my staff that this would not be acceptable for 6 weeks leave. It keeps me sane and I look forward to them every week. Just a number plate I saw when leaving Uni yesterday. Saw this Subaru Forester parked in a disabled bay at Floreat Forum shopping centre last weekend. Chance Cruise, the former fratmen Chase, was tipped 10,000 tokens from one viewer yesterday. This includes some very handsome guys with great bodies.

Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go? " So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas." The cowboy replies, "Absolutely not. I'm not having gas." So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "Here," he says. " The doc replies, "Viagra." The cowboy looks surprised and asks, "Will that kill the pain?" A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not darling? "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning." DEATH While walking along the pavement in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and John lost his dollar.There's enough mail this week to go and start a whole other site but what fun would that be for me... Thanks however go to everyone who has filled my box. Yo Orsm, Big fan of your site, not so much a fan of the ignorant shit people seem fond of sending you.

Every email is welcome no matter how many times I've seen it or how grossly offensive it is. In this case, the anti-Muslim crap that you get from those who just want to demonize all Muslims based on the actions of Muslim extremists.The Pakistani Cricket team's hotel burnt down last night.



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